I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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