Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize