I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
