bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
