That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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