Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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