turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
