There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
