Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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