You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
