I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
