I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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