drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
