Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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