I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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