i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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