I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
