The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
