He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
