he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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