So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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