You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
