I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
