i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Who died my cat blue again?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
