Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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