Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
