Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
