Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
