ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The air was thick with penises
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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