Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
