singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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