I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
