I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
