You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
