sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
