We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
