do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
