I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
