i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
