okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
