I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
