you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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