so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
