I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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