I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
