Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
