Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
