It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize