he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
