She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Houston, we have a blender
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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