she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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