Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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