i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
