Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I deserve this hangover.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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