there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize