May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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