He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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