She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
