just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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