dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
