why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize