My nipple is on Facebook.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
