She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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